MuscleFoundry

(Not) Fat Like Me -- Is Barack Too Skinny for U.S. Voters?

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:36:00 GMT

Only in America could such an improbable story come to have the ring of plausibility. Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has been labeled "not black enough," "not experienced enough," and now, from the Wall Street Journal, whose editors really oughta know better... not FAT enough to represent the American People.

Could they be onto something, in thinking that the average, overextended American who feels too time-starved to exercise can't relate to a fit president? Never mind that, as this article points out, current President George W. Bush takes a big chunk of the day from doing the people's business so that he can work out.

In any case, the Journal piece took a pretty bizarre and non-sequitur tack for evaluating a candidate. As if to say a lack of girth and heft on the scale makes Obama an intellectual or political lightweight. Don't we want someone in office who's not likely to croak under the high-intensity klieg lights of the presidency?

Of course this story plays right into the hands of Wall St. Journal owner Rupert Murdoch, and on too many levels to enumerate here. But the broad brush strokes: the right-leaning Murdoch gets to take a swipe at the Dems, using his current plaything, the right-leaning Journal; and a controversial "talker" of a story creates tabloid-like buzz for The Journal, which Citizen Murdoch wants. For those of you who don't read newspapers, The Wall Street Journal was known in pre-Murdochian times as a no-nonsense, respectable source of sober business news and trend stories.

So not that you asked or anything, but here's what I think of Obama's physical conditioning. Don't mean to nitpick with the laser pointer, but methinks Barack could perhaps go a bit easier on the cardio, maybe do some interval training... and pick it up a notch on the resistance training. That said, it's probably a fair guess to say that he's a far more brilliant legal scholar and policy wonk than I'll ever be. Otherwise, not shabby for a middle-aged guy who's hoofin' it most of the time on the campaign trail -- a lifestyle that is none-too-kind on the human body or mind.

I'm not aware of any recent, shirtless McCain pics out there, so he's on his own for advice, for now.

The Meatrix Has You

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:59:00 GMT

Perhaps you’ve sensed something not quite right in the world – something telling you that things are not as they should be (or at least not as they appear).

You cannot put your finger on it, but it torments your subconscious, like a piece of tongue-resistent gristle, wedged between your molars and irritating your gums.

You feel it every time you order a fast food burger composed of the carcasses of not one, not 26, but of 100 cows; It is upon you when you feel sluggish, lethargic and passive after being fed the blenderized remains of the dead – dead animals, that is.

By now you are perhaps wondering …

What is The Meatrix?

No one can be told what the Meatrix is. You must see it with your own eyes to comprehend.

So you see, the Meatrix is an interdependent network of agri-business farms, independent and integrated processors (a.k.a. slaughterhouses) and end-user clients such as restaurants and supermarkets.

Its purpose is to turn the typical sleepwalking, Biggie Size-ordering human being … into this:

$$$

As Meatrix II and Meatrix 2 ½ demonstrate, you can get your protein fix from poultry and livestock without plugging into (and ergo, perpetuating) the Meatrix. Unfortunately, the higher upfront price tag of organically grown food dissuades many shoppers from buying it. And in some places, such as the inner city, you can’t even find a decent grocery store, let alone organic meat and produce.

My beef, so to speak, with the Meatrix is that it keeps people sick and fat with its lies. The animals raised on corporate farms are sick, fat and traumatized from their poor diets, lack of exercise and sadistic treatment. It’s only common sense that anyone who eats these creatures will assume their wretched characteristics. A slick marketing apparatus of cartoon characters, catchy jingles, attractive packaging and social engineering works to convince us that this other reality does not exist.

Oops, slipped out of character there for a minute. …So then, as a human, you have been given the simultaneous blessing and burden of having a conscience and consciousness. Next time you pass the illuminated golden “M,” remember that you have been given the power to choose.

P.S.: Gotta love the agent in Pt. 2 – “Mister Hamderson.”

Time for a Stimulus Check

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:00:00 GMT

It’s become something of a parlor game for people to talk about what they’ll do with that fat, tempting government stimulus check that’s been floating into taxpayer mailboxes over the last several weeks. Even the people who didn’t receive the maximum $600 (hey don’t scoff, you could buy a whole government-spec toilet seat with that), must admit, very few things beat free money.

Personally, I have many claimants who would like the full amount as soon as it hits my bank account. Our Uncle Sam wants us to respond to the stimuli that fill the Sunday paper – all those ads for gadgets and fashionable gear.

But ripping a page from the book of personal health investment, I have other plans. Yes, I said personal health, not wealth investment. Quick explainer -- smart people understand that your health is an investment – the most important one you can make. Monitor it, tend to it, actively cultivate it through proper nutrition and exercise, and do it consistently -- and you can enjoy the body of a thirtysomething when you’re in your 50s or even older. The trick to pulling off such a feat in our time-famished society, is to make it a top priority.

I was fortunate enough to “get” that concept, throughout my 20s and beyond… when it came to eating and exercise. But not so much when it came to managing cash. Like many Americans, a rising income only made me want to spend, spend, spend, more, more, more(!!!) in order to satisfy short-term (and in retrospect, silly) needs. “Eh, I can catch up later,” the thinking went.

As a result, I lost precious years to take full advantage of compound interest or smart investment timing. Chalk it up to financial ignorance. So now the government wants us to go out and blow some cash to lube the rusting gears of our economy. Go on, buy that flat screen HDTV -- it’s the patriotic thing to do!

Not that you asked, but I plan to give 10 percent to a worthy cause, sock another 10 percent toward a Pay Yourself First fund, and then use the remainder on food, bills and maybe some books. I see the Pay Yourself First money as sort of like exercise. Specifically, it’s like strength training.

Inactive people typically lose 3- to 8-percent of their muscle mass per decade from their 30s on. That rate accelerates sharply after age 60. It’s a process called sarcopenia – the loss of muscle coupled with the gain of assorted saggies and baggies with old age. But if you intervene by training with weights you can halt that slide or even reverse it. I call that, putting a deposit in your body bank. Ok, so I need to come up with something catchier. But you get the idea.

No matter what’s going on in your life, be sure to “pay yourself first.” The creditors can wait. The TV and sofa can wait. You can give them first dibs on your money and attention; But ya best believe they won’t repay your kindness in several years, especially if you’re old, sick and broke!

Change is Afoot (Make it Work For You)

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:26:00 GMT

You may have noticed things looking a bit different around here recently. A different header and logo, for two. It's not that I'm too shy to let the world to see me half-dressed, per se (old, ghetto header).

It's that I'm finally starting to catch up with the original vision I had for this site. Ideally, it will be less LOOK-AT-ME-focused and more capable of providing a great experience and value for you, the user. If that sounds painfully corporate and focus group-ish, then so be it.

Rest assured that it's still a real person, one Akweli Parker, at the controls back here.

Getting Unstuck
So, as for that title. Lots of friends have mentioned how they feel stuck, in a rut and otherwise stagnant in their lives. For some it's their workouts, for others it might be relationships, and yet for others it's their careers or personal finances. I can relate.

The one piece of advice I can confidently offer is simply to change something. You know that quote of Einstein's, "insanity is doing the same thing the same way over and over and expecting a different result?" I'm sick of it, quite frankly, from having heard it so often. But it holds a great element of truth to it. The caution there would be don't quit too soon -- history is rife with folks who fell just short of success because they let discouragement beat them down and dislodge them from good habits.

You may feel stuck because you simply refuse to get started on getting unstuck. It's just too intimidating. Or unappetizing. If true, you're not alone. I've been wanting to change my header to something a little more modern-looking for several months. The actual work only took a few hours this week. Some people will love it, some will hate it, and professional designers will no-doubt crucify it. But I like it. I like even more the sense of forward momentum I felt from Getting It Done.

Take The First Step...
Venture Capitalist Guy Kawasaki calls it the Art of The Start. While he's mostly addressing would-be entrepreneurs, I think the basic idea of an Art of The Start applies to any aspect of your life. In a nutshell, just break the ice with yourself and pick up that workout DVD (and open it and do it). Or sign up for that martial arts class. Don't even worry about finishing just yet, or even being competent. Just start.

You will have to get off the couch, if that's someplace you spend lots of time. You just might have to give up something precious in exchange. For me, it's TV. I'm all-too-willing to throw the boob tube under the bus to get some other benefit out of life. After some initial withdrawal symptoms, I discovered it was worth it.

So if you can get addicted to the natural high of change -- productive change -- you'll find that many of the things you complain about seem to organically melt away.

Debt! It Does a Body Bad

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:13:00 GMT

Behind all those front-lawn “For Sale” signs dotting the neighborhood, lie the stories of people stressed out and physically beaten up by financial worry. Massive debt, according to an Associated Press-AOL poll and story, is contributing to major health problems for Americans.

The report said that, “Although most people appear to be managing their debts all right, perhaps 10 million to 16 million are ‘suffering terribly due to their debts, and their health is likely to be negatively impacted.’”

People with high levels of debt-related stress suffered massively higher levels of severe anxiety, severe depression, heart attacks and other ailments, compared to people who reported low stress from debt.

While that might not sound so surprising in and of itself, what was pretty remarkable is that the overall level of stress seems to be rising.

“The current tough economic times and rising costs of living seem to be leading to increasing debt stress, 14 percent higher this year than in 2004,” the Associated Press article said.

This house article on managing your agita at work looks at another unsexy side effect of stress – obesity. Stress dumps the hormone cortisol into your bloodstream, and one of cortisol’s unwelcome effects is to hang on to body fat.

Recommendations:

If you are physically capable, unload “bad debt” – stuff that is not and will not appreciate in value, unlike a house, as quickly as possible. Folks like investing deity Warren Buffett say us mere financial mortals practically can’t beat the return of paying off credit card debt
Stay in shape, so as not to invite or worsen medical problems. But keep your workouts intense and brief, so you can quickly get back to makin’ money!
Cultivate multiple income sources. Rent out a room, style people’s hair, sell stuff on e-bay, do odd-jobs, make money online, etc. If you don’t belong to the Platinum Parachute set, it’s prudent to have a little somethin’ on the side. And of course, you will remember to report it to Uncle Sam.

Fat is a Fiscal Problem ...But are Evil Corporations to Blame?

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:44:00 GMT

An article in MSN Money poses the interesting and vaguely creepy question, “What if no one in America was fat?”

The author wisely sidesteps the landmines of fat politics and fat faulting to focus on the economics of the matter: If all clinically overweight Americans were to slim down to “normal” proportions, “The savings on medical, fuel, food and other costs would be enough to give every U.S. household more than $4,000,” according to the article.

The piece takes a wide survey across all industries and attempts to factor in the hits taken by certain sectors that cater to overweight folks: doctors, fast food restaurants, diet franchises and so on.

It’s written in a tongue-in-cheek enough manner, but I called it “vaguely creepy” because you could interpret it as having overtones of the old Eugenics movement. Overweight people need empathy and compassionate guidance, not an accusatory finger blaming them for a wrecked economy (I know who I DO blame for that!)

***

In the final analysis, we'll likely witness a grand revelatory event and massive lawsuits – much like those which walloped Big Tobacco – leveled this time against makers of Junk Food and processed foods. That is, if anyone in government has the stones to buck the powerful food lobby.

The amount of documented, government-sanctioned consumer ~~deception~~ predation perpetrated by food companies to keep you addicted to their product (and make you fat and sick in the process) is truly mind-boggling. Dr. Joseph Mercola quite accurately describes it as “Malicious brilliance,” here.

I like that phrase, by the way, “malicious brilliance.” It’s got a certain “Dr. Evil” resonance to it … muwhahaha…Muwahahah!!!

P.S. – I’m not what you could call a “health nut,” not by any stringent measure. Nor am I a conspiracy theorist – per se. But the freaky, sneaky lengths these companies go to in order to move product, and keep you and me in the dark, are truly outrageous. Ordinary people need to be getting upset about this! But that’s a whole ‘nother category of posts.

Drinkin' and Druggin'

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:31:00 GMT

Over at MuscleFoundry Headquarters, I posted a piece on the scandalous story of prescription drugs in our communities' drinking water supplies.

Of course in conversations across America, the phrase "off his meds" has been unceremoniously dumped for the insult, "he's seriously dehydrated." Unfortunately, this true public health crisis was knocked out of the news cycle prematurely by the dilly-dallying tallywacker of one N.Y. Governor whose name sorta rhymes with "prickster."

Anyhoo, go to http://www.musclefoundry.com for a musclehead's take on DRUGS IN THE WATER (If I could make that a swirling graphic and play martial music in the background, I would).

Oh and be sure to tune in a few times at the main site next week. I've been working on a fistful of videos, some design enhancements and I'll probably drop a few new articles too, day job(s) permitting. Be Strong and Live Well.

Website owners and authors, boost your AdSense earnings

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Ok, ok, so this is a little off topic. But I know that many of you out there have sites of your own, so you may find this helpful.

Website owners – if you’re not exactly thrilled with your Google Adsense earnings, might I suggest you mosey on over to this site called Print-N-Post ( http://www.printnpost.com ).

It’s a pretty cool concept – a bunch of authors contribute articles and blog entries to this one site, leveraging The Power of Many to get their articles indexed quickly and therefore, heavily trafficked. Your Adsense code gets embedded into your writings, which equals ka-ching in your PayPal account.

While I’m a bit shy to release actual figures, I can confidently say that traffic to MuscleFoundry.com is up significantly since I joined Print-N-Post a couple weeks ago. In fact, we’re on pace this month to quadruple February’s AdSense earnings, knock on wood. One of the reasons is that you’re kinda forced to write often, if you want to see any type of revenue increase.

The other reason is that at Print-N-Post you have a much bigger platform from which to broadcast. It’s like having your company written up in the New York Times as opposed to the Podunk Journal. OK so maybe the NYT is a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. Print-N-Post lets you mention your website or sites in articles as long as you don’t become obnoxious about it.

If you’re already familiar with AdSense, you know the payouts are pretty meager, until you’re able to create massive traffic. (Then you have what’s called “Massive, Passive Income!”). If you’re not familiar with AdSense, and you have a non-revenue generating Web site or blog that’s just sitting there collecting digital dust, you need to check out AdSense:

Once you get set up with AdSense, head on over to Print-N-Post and join the online community. It’s 100% free and you receive 100% of your Google AdSense earnings, unlike some other give-us-your-content sites. If you head there now and do a search for “Akweli Parker,” you’ll find lots of my writings, including a few things that have appeared here in the MuscleFoundry.com network.

You’ll also find a helpful community of like-minded writers and an amazingly low or non-existent amount of flaming (let’s see how long that lasts).

A caveat: If you’re new to earning a living online, be warned, the early returns on AdSense can be downright depressing. The key is to keep at it and work your tail off to cultivate a sizable audience. You’ll have much to learn, and tons of upfront work to do, but the idea is to create residual income. The money trickles (or gushes, if you’re smart and industrious) into your bank account whether you’re working or loafing, alert or asleep.

My next stop to shamelessly pimp the MuscleFoundry brand to the world – Triond.com – another content-sharing site. Will report back on that in a future post.

Did “The Rocket,” Roger Clemens, Juice or Not?

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:01:00 GMT

He ain’t sayin’ any more, according to his lawyer.

The Congressional committee that grilled him found his pleas of innocence insultingly unbelievable.

And now the FBI’s on the case about whether the former Hall of Fame lock perjured himself.

I’ve heard and read many lay commentators express the sentiment, “Who cares, it’s not like they’re killing or raping anybody.” Perhaps not. But I’m going to suggest that they are contributing to the decay of Western society with such anything goes, win-at-all-costs piggishness.

Let me just say, I’m not putting Roger Clemens on trial -- draw what conclusions you will from the raw tonnage of unfavorable evidence against him. His (once)-closest colleagues and confidantes are the only ones who know for sure exactly what was in those syringes. I have no clue what percentage of Major League Baseball takes steroids. But whatever it is, the users are giving a big fat middle finger to all the hardworking, “naïve” athletes who choose not to pollute their bodies or urinate on the notion of sportsmanship for short-term gain.

And since baseball is supposed to be quintessentially All-American, what does it say about the country, if cynical cheaters with warped values run rampant in its ranks? Like a person who relieves himself in the swimming pool, it sullies all of us in some way.

On that uplifting note, you are absolutely required to check out this MADtv clip. In it, Coach Hines goes into a bit of a rage himself after learning that one of his students has been taking “steeroids.” Guaranteed to, ahem, inject a little levity into your day.

Don't get Duped by "Diet" Soda

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:09:00 GMT

“Diet” Soda makes you fatter, so the latest health study suggests. Were Arsenio Hall still on the airwaves today, you can bet this would make his list of “Things That Make You Go, ‘Hmmm.’” Actually, anyone who’s ever been on a “diet” and unable to maintain its fleeting results will realize this Diet Soda Thing isn’t the great oxymoron it might first appear to be.

That’s because the human body has an amazing way of adjusting to new circumstances, like getting fewer calories when we go on a diet. Try and deprive it, and eventally your body will cling to fat even more stubbornly – I know from experience.

The University of Minnesota researchers were looking (http://circ.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/short/117/6/754 ) at something called “metabolic syndrome,” a party pack, if you will, of assorted symptoms associated with cardiovascular disease, Type-2 diabetes and other death contributors:

“Interestingly, adults who consumed 1 serving of diet soda a day had a 34% higher risk of MetSyn compared with nonconsumers,” the U of M study summary said.

The researchers weren’t sure why this was the case, but 34-percent higher risk in this kind of study is BIG.

I’ve linked to the study abstract, and as often is the case, you currently need a subscription to “Circulation,” where the study was published, for the whole thing.

Now, for my non-medical, this-is-what-it-means-to-you analysis: You can throw your body’s primitive circuitry off balance by adopting a few simple, healthy habits, such as drinking water in abundance, walking like your gramps did as a schoolboy and eating more – yep, I said MORE – fats. (But not just any fats).

For the How, Why and How Much behind these tips and many more, you absolutely have to download the free report, “12 Ways to Turbocharge Your Metabolism.” I’ve bundled it with the free MuscleFoundry.com newsletter, and you don’t even have to leave this post. Just enter your info below and you’ll get the goodies instantly.

To use some MuscleFoundry.com products you will need the free Adobe Reader. If you can read ".pdf" documents currently, that means your computer already has it loaded. If not... You can get it here.

********** IMPORTANT PRIVACY INFORMATION: MuscleFoundry.com values your trust and will therefore never rent, share or sell your information. *******

(Consult your physician before beginning any diet or exercise program)

How to Save Your Soul From Work

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 14:21:00 GMT

Been feeling a bit stressed out lately, ya'll -- people owe me money. I owe people money. The Feds are still clinging to the fig leaf notion that the country is not ... quite ... technically ... in a recession (the rest of the world says we are). That said, I do have food in the pantry and a functioning brain and body, so overall it's cool.

But I am still thinking of the people who worry daily about getting laid off. It's nigh impossible to take good care of your body when you're obsessed with how to pay for next month's mortgage or your ability to feed your family.

And so the latest article at the Web site is a two-fer ~~celebration~~ recognition of both Black History Month and American Heart Month (American Heart Month?!?). It deals with a behavioral condition called "John Henryism," after the African-American folk hero who worked himself (or as one ballad says, "hisself") to death for the C&O Railroad.

Is there a modern correlate here? Why yes, I think there is! Particularly if you work in an office or in sales, where the expectations of management might be completely divorced from workers' reality on the ground. There is a difference between pushing people to become their best and pushing them over the edge.

The piece looks at ways to bring yourself back from the edge, including exercise (and I now realize I omitted a biggie, *meditation,* though it is referenced, somewhat obliquely). Check out the article and remember folks, no job is worth your health or your sanity.

Are You Getting Any 'Action?' I am.

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 23:57:00 GMT

Hey everybody, we're already into February, and I hope you've gotten your New Year off to a strong start. It's looking to be an even more active month at the ol' MF-dot-C: I've got a whole heckuva bunch planned to meet some of the requests you've been sending by e-mail and offline. If you think the site and blog are helpful and great OR that they suck, let me know. (I can take it!!!)

Even though I'm on a shoestring budget -- and a frayed shoestring at that -- my aim is to constantly make your experience here better and more useful, so let a brotha know. In the meantime, here's what you can expect *real soon* ...

COMING NEXT WEEK (Week of Feb. 4, 2008):
I got LASIK'd. Story and photos.
First Issue of MuscleFoundry.com Fortnightly e-zine (FREE to join).
Something BIG. (You've GOTTA tune in!!!)

You can find links here at the blog and of course, at the main site, http://www.musclefoundry.com

Thanks for logging on and have a great weekend.

Be Strong, Live Well.

- Akweli

Middle-Aged and Maudlin

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:06:00 GMT

Everyone's reporting this week on a study that shows more people get the blues in their 40s than at any other age.

The phenomenon seems to hold true worldwide, though it doesn't appear to be as pronounced in developing nations -- what was referred to as "The Third World" back in less culturally sensitive times.

From my anecdotal exposure to 40-somethings and above, I can think of any number of reasons why this makes sense -- youthful dreams deferred or dashed, divorce, financial difficulties, soul-crushing jobs, health issues that start to become more serious, etc.

At some point, life starts to beat you down -- and starts winning. At least, that's the perception. It becomes easier, in the short run, to accept the things causing one misery and to complain (but not do anything) about them. As of this writing, the Social Science & Medicine Journal Web site wasn't responding, but if it does I'll link to it -- where presumably one can read an abstract of the study and/or purchase it.

The takeaway from the USA Today story was less than encouraging -- to paraphrase: "It's normal, so try not to obsess over it."

Being a solutions-oriented individual (or a meddler, take your pick), I hope that anyone in that position doesn't think of it as permanent. Or that you have to "ride it out" and suffer until your 60s and 70s, when supposedly, you come to terms with your perceived inadequacy and become happy. I may still be a snot-nosed young punk, but I know a number of middle-agers who created their own circumstances and are delighted with their lives. We all can be -- but it is work getting there, and it may even be painful.

I'll revisit this topic in depth later -- I've been doing a lot of research lately on the human brain and a concept called "neuroplasticity" -- the idea that you can re-wire your brain for the better. I can't wait to share my findings with you!

At my Web site, you'll find lots of resources to help you get your head right and get motivated to go beyond mediocrity. While it's focused on physical fitness, my objective is to help people become holistically healthy human beings. So until next time, Buck Up, Be Strong, and Live Well!

-Akweli

Yes I may have "lost it," giving this away for free.

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:37:00 GMT

Hey folks, just a quickie note from Yours Truly, to tell you about the FREE new e-newsletter that I’ve finally poured out of The ‘Foundry. Well, I’m poised to pour out, anyway … So sign up now in time to catch the first issue of MuscleFoundry.com Fortnightly, which has a Monday, Feb. 4 launch date.

You'll get the tips and tricks of professional hardbodies and of normal folks who've stolen their secrets -- like me -- so that you can inhabit a stellar physique of your own.

And if you’re worried about getting SPAM-med by me – no need. I’ve suffered the SPAM onslaught myself in my scintillating career as an office drone, so I know the horrors of an exploding Inbox.

Therefore, I won’t be selling you out to “male enhancement” e-mail marketers or bombarding you to buy stuff every two hours. The law is pretty strict on that sorta thing actually, so if you say “No Mas a MuscleFoundry!” you’ll get hustled off the list pretty fast.

But my aim is to be so dang useful, and perhaps even mildly entertaining, that you’ll be simply begging for more. So sign up, strap in and look for the ‘letter!

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

Be Strong. Live Well.

-Akweli

Inconvenient Truths About Muscle-Building and Fat Loss "E-Courses"

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:49:00 GMT

Happy New Year, everybody! It's been a busy-@zz several weeks, but one of my Resolutions is to post more "On Tha Regular" both here on the blog and on the main site. With that in mind, this week we take a look at Muscle Building (and fat loss) "E-courses" -- you know, those downloadable packages that promise to have you dating supermodels, making seven figures and living a charmed life?

There actually are a few decent ones out there, though I don't know that they will come through on all the above claims. Call me a skeptic. Anyhoo, partake and enjoy...
-A

"No Excuses" Podcast

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 23:04:00 GMT

New posting on the MuscleFoundry.com main site -- given that it's a new year and time for new resolutions for many of us, it seemed an apropos time to discuss ways that you can *keep 'em* this year... Click on the "more" link below...

No Excuses Podcast

Posted Jan. 13, 2008

Podcast Show Notes

The New Year is in full swing, and many of us have vowed to get back into shape … for real, this time. Perhaps we want to lose weight, pay off our credit card debt or stop smoking. We start out on fire, but then slowly flicker and fade, reverting back to our old selves. Just what is it that erodes our commitment down to a worn stump by month two or three?

Kick More Ass, with apples

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 18:32:00 GMT

We’re seriously considering creating a new Category which we here at MuscleFoundry.com would snootily refer to as … “Bodybuilders Have Known This &%#! Forever.” It would be reserved for mass-cultural fitness phenomena like the Atkins Diet (Suspiciously similar to bodybuilders’ long-used, low-carb, competition diet); the kettle bells “sensation” (Build muscle mass using rapid kinetic movements, eh? Sounds familiar, Comrade-ski), and now this, from a Penn State study, on apples -- which apparently metamorphosed into the new wonder fruit overnight, at least according to USA Today.

The newspaper brings us another one of those “duh” academic studies on nutrition, this one showing that eating an apple prior to a meal can cause you to eat 190 fewer calories at said meal. Given that a typical apple contains about 75 calories, and happens to lie pretty low on the glycemic index list of foods that make you fat – it seems to be not an altogether bad trade-off.

I’m here to tell you, folks … it’s a *great* trade-off. In addition to being nearly the perfect size and shape for carry-around snackability, apples contain a decent amount of fiber, they polish off sweets cravings and contain not a milligram of fat . They provide a nice, even and lengthy energy curve prior to and just during a workout. Contrast that with say, a candy bar, which might give you 15 minutes of manic energy before peaking. Once those fast-burning sugars are through though, you’ll come plummeting back to Earth like a pair of spent space shuttle booster rockets. Apples ,on the other hand are like efficient but solidly powerful auxiliary engines. I do prefer to take them with some solid food, though, as the glucose spike and subsequent trough can be sharp on an empty stomach. (See chart).

Graphic: WWW.MUSCLEFOUNDRY.COM

So even though we muscleheads may be tempted to roll some eyeballs at these supposedly “new” findings, we should take heart. If one or more enterprising opportunists write bestsellers on the “Amazing, Breakthrough ‘Apple Diet(!!!)’” let’s just cut ‘em some slack and be thankful that the word is getting out.

I am Iron Man...

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:42:00 GMT

As many of you know, I'm not much one for disposable pop-drivel advertising, especially when it isn't in some way lining my pockets* , but this movie trailer for the live-action version of Iron Man, due out next year, caught my fancy.

A slimmed down Robert Downey Jr., looking remarkably reminiscent of Oracle CEO-playboy Larry Ellison (coincidence?), plays the role of arms corporation titan Tony Starks. Take note of the mini-foundry Starks works in, as he presumably labors to build a missile under the coercion of terrorists.

A psychiatrist would no doubt have a field day with the muscleheads, including myself, who will probably enjoy this film: it's not a particularly dense metaphor, after all -- the vanquished hero's secret forging of armor and weaponry in order to turn the tables on his perceived oppressors. Been there, done that. This narrative arc, if you would be generous enough to label it such, also describes every single episode of The A-Team. ...Said psychiatrist, I'm sure, would then proceed to tell us which inadequacy we are compensating for in indulging this adolescent male revenge fantasy. But I digress...

Whether IM becomes another $$$pider Man or absolutely sucks and bombs, one must give the producers props for mixing modernity with old school. Right after Iron Man does the ol' aerobatic shake-n-bake on a pair of F-22 Raptors (God -- can't believe they fell for that one!) in the trailer, we hear the ominous opening power chord from the like-named Black Sabbath tune. Now, I'm a rap brotha and all, but that song kicks f***-ing @s$.

So without further ado, check dis "Ish" out (click on the image)...

* Just remembered -- I own a pitifully small number of Marvel shares. Just wanted to get that out there, full disclosure and all.

The Sweet Pleasure in PAIN (from Working Out)

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 02:30:00 GMT

Are you one of those people who thinks working out is too painful to be worth your while? This full-length article at the MuscleFoundry.com main site tells you why that pain is a good thing. And how you can actually learn to love it and look forward to it.

EXCERPT:

The idea behind MuscleFoundry is to change people's minds and attitudes to see that discomfort, pain and lack of ease - in the gym - can actually constitute a form of pleasure in and of themselves. Like red-hot steel being hammered into an exquisite sword, the pain of an intense workout signals that you are chiseling your body into a fine instrument.

UNLEASH THE BEAST...

Drop a Load on 'Em

Musclefoundry - Akweli — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:34:00 GMT

I'm normally a big fan of Slate's Ad Report Card, which takes an intelligently critical, if sometimes condescendingly NPR-esque approach to analyzing TV ads.

In fact Ad Report Card, written by an assortment of writers, almost always comes across as conversational, humorous, and dare I say, human. But this one episode, which takes a look at All-Bran's hilarious working man tribute to the virtues of "staying regular," seems to lose that deft, Angel Soft touch. The writer, bless her, gives the ad a "B+" at the end, but throughout the critique she seems to be wincing and holding her nose at all the "fratboy humor," as if she were forced to muck the stall of a gastrointestinally disressed elephant. To wit, said humor consists of tumbling barrels, an ejecting I-beam and a "dump" truck doing its thing in fecally suggestive ways. The shocked, shocked(!) reviewer finds it all a bit overwhelmingly sophomoric. One can almost sense an impending, "Harrumph, well I NEVER!"

You want to tell her, c'mon Ms. Slate Writer: Just admit that you take a crap sitting down like the rest of us. Enjoy a commercial that makes fun of itself. Indulging a little potty humor won't flush your journalistic career.

The choice of a tough and presumably brawny construction supervisor as spokes-dumper was interesting for another reason. If you eat any significant quantity of protein -- as you should if you're trying to build muscle -- keeping the ol' pipes clear can often be a challenge, if you catch my drift. And yet flushing the body of toxins present in waste matter is crucial to maintaining energy and staying in an anabolic (muscle growing) state. Frankly, if it were my commercial I would have "piled on" even more over-the-top visual metaphors: Maybe an industrial shredder spewing out shards of just-consumed metal objects; or wet concrete rushing through a sluiceway and spattering into a foundation.

Perhaps it's a function of age (but I prefer to think it just mature wisdom) that I find myself extolling the supposed digestive prowess of All-Bran and its ilk.

Rather than me sit hear trying to squeeze out more bad puns like splashy but unsatisfying pebbles, I'm gonna call this entry a wipe, er, wrap. And give the All-Bran spot an "A" for Audacity.

What do you think, too gross for prime time? Got a funny idea for visuals with this commercial?